Survivor Stories: Mariah Carey

Photo credits: BBC

Mariah Carey, an American singer-songwriter and global pop icon, has become an increasingly important voice in conversations about emotional abuse and coercive control. Long before these issues were widely regarded, she was living through them during her early success. In recent years, through interviews, television, and her memoir, she has spoken openly about a relationship that left her isolated, controlled, and deeply traumatized.

As awareness grows around non-physical abuse, including new laws targeting coercive control, her story has become even more inspiring and significant. On her E! reality series “Mariah’s World,” she reflected on the beginning of her career and a partner who exerted overwhelming authority over her life.

“I was with someone at the time that had a lot of control over my life,” she said, explaining how she was deliberately kept away from others.

Though she did not name him directly in that moment, Mariah Carey was referring to her marriage to Tommy Mottola, the powerful music executive she wed in 1993 at just 23. He was two decades older, leading to a severe imbalance of power that had a severe impact. Specifically, she recalled feeling controlled and suffocated. She revealed she needed permission to leave her own home and described feeling as though she would end up “haunting the house dead” and that she “never thought [she] would get out of there.”

Those around her saw the severity of the situation. Record producer Jermaine Dupri famously compared her to Rapunzel, trapped in a tower. She eventually found the courage to leave, channeling her experience into music, most notably the song “Butterfly,” a metaphor for freedom, autonomy, and emotional survival.

She later described the marriage as a “private hell.” The pair divorced in 1997. In a 2005 interview, she explained that the abuse left her “miserable, crying, and alone,” with lingering effects that still affect her decades later. She spoke of living in constant fear, carrying a bag everywhere in case she needed to escape, and even wishing someone would kidnap her just to be free.

“My relationship with my husband was not a physical relationship,” she noted. “It beyond shaped me. I still have nightmares about it. Even though I owned that house, the only thing I felt like I owned was my pocketbook. He didn’t even know why I always had my bag with me. But in my mind I thought, ‘If something jumps off, I’m ready.’ I lived like that for a long time. I used to wish, hope, and dream that someone would kidnap me.”

Her memoir, “The Meaning of Mariah Carey," further described the relationship as a “slow and steady march into captivity.” Constant surveillance, isolation from loved ones, and rigid control restricted her independence.

Today, her willingness to speak openly has helped broaden global understanding of emotional abuse. Her story shows that freedom is not always about escaping physical harm, but reclaiming one’s voice, autonomy, and sense of self.

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Jurisview Journal is a student-led blog that publishes biweekly articles about interesting criminal cases. Our aim is to shed light on cases that require justice or further exploration and provide input on controversial legal events. We also publish infographics to help victims or those who wish to educate themselves on legal issues. 

In this series, Survivor Stories, we explore and share the stories of survivors of violence and crime. Through this, we advocate for justice and more attention to victims such as the survivors we feature.